My sister, Lori, texted me herself (presumably, while seated), saying, "I just can't see that video of the woman texting and doing a header into the mall fountain often enough!" I'm afraid I heartily agree. It's a bit of techno-schadenfreude of which I find myself increasingly guilty. Navigating the crowded sidewalks and streets of New York City while nearly everyone is now glued to one electronic apparatus or another has become more and more rage-enducing. I'm finding it is now quite common for these Twitter zombies to assume that if they are clearly engaged in their machinery that it is the responsibility of others to move out of their way. To this, I say, uh, no. I've tried to be more patient and understanding as portable technology has mushroomed to an almost unimaginable level...and, to some end, I've chilled out...a bit. But damned if I'm going to go out of my way to avoid some texting automaton who's walking, facedown, on the wrong side of the sidewalk. I have a few standard responses as I stop in my tracks, face-to-face with these zombies: "Welcome to America....YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!" "RIGHT OF WAY, DUMMY!" works well, too. A few years ago, a friend of mine encouraged me to self-examine my techno-rage to try to find out why I got so worked-up by cellphone/texting device users, as my furor was clearly out of proportion. And I did. Why do I get so enraged? I've determined that cellphone/wireless device usage has lowered the
human I.Q. by atleast 15 points...and as far as "common manners" go, it's knocked society down atleast three distinct sub-strata. Basically, to me, what it boils down to is selfishness. The person in the endless post office line, carelessly yammering away on her cellphone about her gyno exam at full-volume, while you have no choice but to stand there and practically be there in the stirrups with her. The guy who stops dead in his tracks in the middle of a rush-hour sidewalk to change the playlist on his iPod. It just seems to me that as we all become more and more insulated in our own little wireless worlds, it is surely at the expense of basic good sense and awareness of the needs/feelings of others.
What's more, this week State Senator Carl Kruger (D-Brooklyn) put a bill before the New York State Senate and Assembly, wherein it would actually be illegal to cross a street in New York City while using an electronic device. Ostensibly, offenders would be fined $100 for said offenses. It seems highly unlikely that such a law would ever be passed by both houses, as it would be nearly impossible to uphold, as there would be so many gray areas. For instance, how can they prove that you weren't doing what I've done for years, which is to wear headphones, even when they're not attached to a device, but merely as "subway psycho repellant"? Does this include "boom-boxes" too, or only devices with earphones? Does it include pagers? (do people even use pagers anymore?). In any case, nice try, Senator...I'm sort of on your side, but you ain't going to win this one.
Meanwhile, back at the mall (ironically, in READING, Pennsylvania!),
poor Mrs. Cathy Cruz Marrero got out of the fountain and sloshed her sopping Uggs straight to her lawyer's office. "No one....NO ONE...offered to help me!" she whined on Good Morning America. God helps those who help themselves, Cathy. And you can kindly begin by looking out where the #%&!*%# you're walking, MORON! (oh my...I'm sorry....I'm working on that techno-rage....really, I am...).
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