The Grammys...what went down...

Just in case you didn't catch the Grammy Awards last night, here's a post-show recap---my random observations that I scribbled as the show transpired...why, I believe it's called "live-blogging":

 *Wow...that was a kick-ass opening number!  A tribute to Aretha Franklin, a medley of some of her greatest hits, sung by Christina Aguilera (who knew all her words, and looked like she was ready to show 'em that she was back), Jennifer Hudson (looking really gorgeous and my God, what a voice that girl's got!), Martina McBride, Yolanda Adams and Florence Welch.  Now THAT's how you start out a show!  Clearly a labor of love, the girls pulled out all their stops and really cut loose.  Aretha (who wasn't present, owing to her battle with cancer) appeared in a taped "thank you" from Detroit after the number, swathed in white tulle and looking terrific!  Looks like she's lost a lot of weight...go Aretha...I am so pulling for her...



*Lady Gaga entered in an egg with odd nodules on her shoulders, performing her new song, "Born This Way"...which sounds VERY much like Madonna's "Respect Yourself"...which sounded VERY VERY much like The Staples Singers 70's tune, "Express Yourself" (how didn't Madge get sued over that one, I wonder?).  Ah well...it's a catchy tune (all three of 'em!) and Gaga, as usual, made quite an impression.  Loved her dancers, too!

*Bruno Mars, B.O.B and Janelle Monae: Say! I like this Bruno guy... a singer who actually sings! And Janelle was cute...hadn't heard of her before.  But B.O.B. is guilty of ROTTEN RHYMING (my pet peeve).... "wonderin'" and "redundant" DO NOT IN ANY WAY RHYME!!! PERIOD!

*The Bieb came out and did his thing.  It's hard to not like Justin Bieber...he's very earnest and obviously talented.  Every time I see him, though, I wonder how on earth he can make it through this fame thing without turning into a monster...hope not, but I'm just wondering....

*Hey...Gaga beat the Bieb for "Best Pop Album".  Her dad was there looking like a normal, proud dad.  Can't believe the orchestra started playing her off after less than a minute into her thank you!  She's what everyone was watching the show for!  Come on!  Use that shit with discretion

*Bob Dylan...I guess he's an acquired taste.  But after several decades, I'm nowhere CLOSE to acquiring that taste, so I guess I give up.  Didn't get him then, don't get him now.  NEXT!

*Julie Andrews, Dolly Parton, The Ramones...all "Lifetime Achievement Award" winners...and all they got was a cursory mention by a faceless announcer as they came out of a commercial break?  That's all you get?  Was a time when that was the most prestigious honor they bestowed. Nice.  But they give 5 minutes to GWYNETH PALTROW, rolling around on a grand piano with some friggin' puppets and an enormous drag queen?  WTF?

*Katy Perry....I like this girl!  She's so pretty and is a very good singer.  A singer who actually sings melodies!  THANK YOU!  It just creeps me out, though, to think of her married to that frightening, unfunny Russell Brand.  NO, Katy!  NO!

Russell Brand:  Fright Night

*Okay...a small bit of justice...John Mayer, Nora Jones, Keith Urban sang "Jolene," as a tribute to Dolly Parton...but where was Dolly?

*Rihanna looked and sounded lovely, performing with Eminem on his song, "Love the Way You Lie".  But I couldn't understand one single word he shouted...it all just sounded like a bunch of noise invading an otherwise really pretty song.  I guess I'm officially one of those crabby, "You kids get off my lawn" guys down the street now, huh?

*Drake..Florence and the Machine...Mumford and Sons....Esperanza Spalding....Justin Bieber...for "Best New Artist"..and the winner is... NOT The Bieb!  Well, that's a big surprise!  Esperanza won.  I've never heard of her before.  Guess she's a jazz vocalist/string bass player.  Atta girl! Poor Bieb--in his grown-up white dinner jacket and crooked clip-on black bowtie---had a real look of shock, as I 'm sure everyone must have told him it was a lock that he'd win.  A voter revolt, perhaps?  She gave a nice, succinct and gracious acceptance speech.  Poor little Bieb...it's not turning out to be his night tonight...

The Bieb, right after his name wasn't read...Esperanza is the happy lady on the lower right.

*Lena Horne...Margaret Whiting...Mitch Miller...Joan Sutherland... Eddie Fisher...glad to see that they remembered some of the "classics" in their annual end of the year roundup of newly-dead musicians...

* Mick Jagger:  Still cranking it out after all these years.  Gotta hand it to him.  The guy's 67...and still jumping around like a 27-year old!

* Okay, quiet everyone..here comes Babs...Streisand, that is... She's singing "Evergreen" and still has that incredible set of pipes.  Lookin' good, too...she's rockin' the extensions and has a major maroon gown going.  Hard to believe she'll be 70 next year.  Atleast the audience had the good sense to give HER a standing-O (they've been standing up for just about anyone who walks across the stage tonight), though as the camera scanned the crowd, they didn't look too thrilled.  Like her or not, she remains, for my money, the best pop singer of all time.  Her voice is finally starting to show some of the wear of time, but what do you expect??

Babs singing "Evergreen" at the 2011 Grammys

* Rihanna and Drake singing "What's My Name?"  That girl knows how to shake her badonkadonk.  Her star sure has taken off...ever since 2 years ago tonight, when her ex-boyfriend, shamed has-been Chris Brown, beat her to a pulp after they left the Grammys.  Hope he's watching...sorry now, fool?

Looks like someone in the audience was trying to grab Rihanna's badonk!

*Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony presenting "Best Record".  My gosh, that is one hell of rotten face (him, not her).  She bootylicious! He was trying to be funny, too, but missed by a mile. (Lady Antebellum won).

Beauty and the....ouch!

 *Okay, it's 189 minutes into the show with no end in sight...

*Well, finally...album of the year...presented by Babs Streisand and Kris Kristofferson.  He stumbled on the way out...hope he's not back on the bottle.  And the winner is....BIG SURPRISE!  Not Gaga...The Suburbs?? and their album ARCADE FIRE.  Or is it the other way around...Arcade Fire and their album "The Suburbs"??  Sorry..missed that...I really dunno.  Boy, I'm out of it...I've never heard of them.  Betcha Gaga's pissed.  But they must have known they'd be winning...they got up and did a final tune after the award, and their equipment was all set up onstage already....whazzup with that? 

*So, about 3 1/2 hours later, what'd I learn?  Hmmm....let me get back to you on that...because I'm not quite sure I learned ANYTHING....oh wait...I did learn something:  I just learned that Bieber fans are known as "Beliebers"! That's hilarious!!  But they must be draping their trailers in black tonight...