The 2011 Oscars: WHAT A DRAG!!

Well, here's an overview of last night's Oscars...and if you missed them, the above photo encapsulates all the the cleverness and wit of the evening in one snap.  Overall, it was the most uninspiring, boring and just plain DULL awards proceedings I've ever sat through.  They went for the "more appealing, younger demographics" by hiring James Franco and Anne Hathawy to host the proceedings--and what did they end up with?  Amateur night at the karaoke joint around the corner.  Exactly WHY Franco appeared in drag, trying to emulate Marilyn Monroe, is anyone's guess.  There was no explanation, except for a muttered "Anne got to wear a tuxedo, so I got to wear this" gagline.  If writer Bruce Vilanch was behind this, he needs to turn in his gay credentials STAT, as this sorta shtick went out around 1974.  The writers altogether might want to look into some kind of Witness Protection Program and get outta town.  The saddest part of the evening, ironically, came with the appearance of former Oscar host, Billy Crystal, who clearly SHOULD HAVE been the host still....and why isn't he, is the big question of the night.  Between his genial bonhomie and his introduction of some classic filmed appearances of Bob Hope hosting the Oscars in the 1950's, it held a mirror up to the two jokers the Academy had on hand to host last night's show.  It was a bad call on their part to expose their hapless hosts to such a harsh comparative light. 

Anne Hathaway & James Franco:  Really Lame Duck

As for the rest of the night, it went smoothly enough...in fact, too smoothly, if that's possible.  No surprises, nothing "off the cuff" or unusual.  No drunks, no hookers posing on the red carpet...none of that fun stuff.  It's as if the Oscars have been boiled down to a distilled, insipid broth that tries to be palatable to many, but ends up appealing to very few.  Atleast they had the good sense to get rid of the elaborately staged musical numbers of the nominated songs (like the year Savion Glover did a tap dance to the dirge from Saving Private Ryan...now THAT was memorable!  And not in a good way).  This year, they gave us montages, with about a 1-minute sampling of the tunes in question.  And what the hell:  They ended up giving the award to the puerile Randy Newman...AGAIN....so what does it matter (Again:  Academy, you must eliminate this category!)?  He's like their default "vote for" guy, when ALL the competition is lousy.

No surprises, thankfully, in  the Best Film and Best Actor categories (The King's Speech and Colin Firth).  Deservedly, they went home with the lion's share this year.  The Social Network certainly slid into a very distant "also-ran" position.  And certainly Natalie Portman's and Melissa Leo's performances were shoo-ins from the get-go.

Which brings me to Miss Leo.  For whatever reason, she chose this night to drop the "F-bomb" in the midst of her "thank you" speech.  And then, in some of the worst acting of the year, pretended as if it had just "slipped out" and she was just appalled by her own shocking behavior.  She even went backstage and started her "apology tour".  Give us a break.  If you want to be low-class and make this your forum for showing your crassness, that's your choice.  But don't insult the audience by pretending it was just a little "slip of the tongue".  We're not that stupid, and you're insulting us.

A slip of the tongue?  Yeah, RIGHT!  A tacky display of bad manners, perhaps....

And Christian Bale beat out sentimental favorite Geoffrey Rush.  Not a surprise, really, as he's been front-runner all along, for a truly startling performance.  But I hold grudges...and I haven't been able to look at him in the same light since those recordings of him from a few years ago,  absolutely ripping to shreds some poor film crew member over something trivial---a poor guy who was surely in no position to fight back against Mr. Hollywood Star.  It was Hollywood-infantile at its all-time worst. Hence, I'm not particularly happy for this jackass. Care to refresh yourself?  Here it is again.


So, in any case, I'm happy that several of you joined me during the telecast last night, and I look forward to future live blog-casts.  And as I said earlier:  If you missed it, well....you picked a good year to do so!  And the chances that we'll be seeing FrancoWay as the hosts again next year are about as likely as Melissa Leo being allowed on the air again without a 4-second delay.....as the Magic 8-Ball would say, "OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD"!